Creature Comfort
by Lady-Knight-Sam-Carter
Summary: Dean is tired of Cas brooding around the bunker after the events of Book of the Damned and attempts to have a chat with him to find out what is wrong. Episode tag Book of the Damned. As much Destiel as in the show. (AN: Sorry I suck at synopses.)


Authors Note: Its been a long while since I last published and I started this during class while I was bored. It has room to be a multi-chapter story but if there isn't interest I'll keep anything more to my happy self :) Five or more comments I'll add though. Very happy to receive helpful criticism. Please review! :) Thanks Love Bugs! Enjoy!

Synopsis: Dean is tired of Cas brooding around the bunker after the events of Book of the Damned and attempts to have a chat with him to find out what is wrong. Episode tag Book of the Damned. As much Destiel as in the show. (AN: Sorry I suck at synopses.)

* * *

Dean wanted to help Cas. He could see something was eating at him but he didn't have a clue as to what it was. Cas had been brooding around the bunker for the last two days now and Dean had had enough. He walked into the library where Cas was sitting and plopped down a peanut butter and jelly sandwich in front of him and sat down across from him with a bacon cheese burger for himself.

Cas doesn't blink but does take a deep breath in through his nose. After a moment, Cas turns to Dean, "I got my "mojo" back, Dean. I don't need to eat anymore."

Dean nods his head while chewing a bite of his burger. After swallowing, "That's true. Doesn't mean you can't though. And you said PB&J was your favorite as a human."

Cas smiled in response and took another deep breath in through his nose before slowly dragging the sandwich towards himself and taking a bite of the sandwich. After a moment of Cas chewing, Dean notices Cas frowning just a bit.

"What is it Cas? Disappointed we didn't have any crunchy peanut butter?"

Cas offers a slightly ironic smile, "Crunchy does offer more nutritional value to the human body, but no, that's not it."

"What is the problem then Cas?" Dean asks putting his burger down and offering Cas his full and undivided attention.

Cas continues to eat approximately half his sandwich before looking at Dean, "I remember what a PB&J tastes like, I remember enjoying it, but I don't taste it or FEEL the pleasure derived from it anymore. It is very… disappointing."

Dean pulls his chair around so instead of being directly across from Cas, he is now kitty corner to him. "Talk to me Cas. You've been broody since you got juiced again and don't tell me it's just because you missed out on my gourmet cooking skills while you were human."

Cas pulls the crust off what remains of his sandwich, "What am I doing Dean?"

Dean furrows his brow, "What do you mean Cas?"

Cas looks down and starts shredding the rest of his pb&j. Dean reaches over, grabs Cas' hand to stop him from demolishing the sandwich and pulls the remains away with his free hand, "Talk to me man."

Still not meeting Dean's eyes, "What is my mission? Why, no, What am I doing anymore?" Finally meeting Dean's eyes, "I know my father doesn't care about what is happening in heaven. And I'm not needed there anymore. Hannah is doing just fine running things. So what purpose do I have? What is my mission?"

Dean gives Cas a peculiar look, "Where is this coming from? This doesn't sound like your words. Whatever you are working on, whatever you are doing, does it feel worthwhile to you? Is it something you WANT to do? Isn't that why and what enough? You're doing whatever you deem worthy because you deem it worthy."

Cas looks down to the table and studies the grain pattern, "Who says what I deem worthy is actually good? Last time I did something for me I let the Leviathan out of Purgatory."

Dean laughs, squeezes, and lets go of Cas' hand. "Yes, well, now you consult with your people, Sam, Hannah, me. We won't let you do something so reckless again. That's what friends are for. To let you know when your own ambitions are in the way of global safety."

Cas smiles softly, "I am disappointed that I didn't get the chance to eat your cooking while I was human. Sam and Charlie both say it is exceptionally good."

Dean smiles like a cat that just caught a Canary, "I don't think you were supposed to tell me that Cas."

Cas gives Dean a confused look, "Why should I not tell you? Don't Charlie and Sam want you to know they value all your skills?"

Dean gives Cas a hard look, the kind that makes Sam feel like he is looking into Cas' soul, "Thank you Cas."

Once again Cas is confused, "Why are you thanking me?"

Dean stands up and rests his hand on Cas' should on his way to take both their plates into the kitchen, "For reminding me I am more than a killer."

Cas smiles at the table as Dean walks away and whispers to himself, "You do the same for me."


End file.
